Everyone is fixed on wall street, making it hard to come up with anything relevant. I don't know wall street and I wouldn't care except I'm finally understanding that my money, my taxpayer money, is finally being fucked with. My muh-muh-muhhney. I worked in highschool and then a little during college, and I understand that I've helped pay for the iraq war, so every 1/10000000000th of a penny that goes into making bombs probably came from me, and I'm sorry for all the harm I've done. But what am I to say? It seems like every fucking op-ed writer this side of the atlantic (and then some) have been talking about whatever is going on, and they say the same things over and over:
This is a lot of money
It could be an interesting investment on the part of our government
It's really complicated even for those who thought they knew what was going on
Henry Paulson is a dick
Sooooo… the plan so far is that if this gets as bad as it could be, as in, so bad that people are rioting and there are food shortages, then it's time to go to Canada and start an organic farm
But it's not going to get that bad. People have always been talking about bad things, and look where we are. We're eating and drinking (except for a bunch of assholes who usually can't drink alcohol because they're ex-addicts and/or think that alcohol is bad (which it isn't, based on studies and such), and we're living and breathing, and playing board games and drinking and eating and orgasming and origamiing and watching moives and playing videogames and reading stupid shit on the internet and writing stupider shit (i.e., this) on the internet.
Things are fucking right on right now. Things are always bad and good and bad and good and worse and awesome and shitty and superb.
One of the stories missed this week is how the LHC (Large Hammer-Time Collider) has been shut down until at least next April because some fucking engineer was jacking off on one of the magnets that runs the thing, and he forgot to wipe, and ended up frying the shit out of it. This engineer's name was John Updike. Yes, the same John Updike that wrote some shit about rabbits or something. The same John Updike whose last name sounds like Up and Dyke, which is awesome because it makes me hot to think about getting all Up in a Dyke, ya hearrrrd?
Anyways, what the fuck else has been happening. Sarah Palin has been the slut of the General Assembly this week, first giving head to Kissinger, and then to mohammar Singh, and some other people we shouldn't care about, because she actually isn't doing anything. Not a goddamn thing. She's just going around flaunting her perfect 44 year old tits and shapely ass and wiping kissinger's excreta from her pouty lips. It's funny because I think that kissinger's chode must be all of 3 inches long, but 8 inches wide, so she planned ahead by putting on extra lipstick and such.
It's almost too easy to make fun of her. Where the hell has barack obama been? I don't know if I'd want to go down on Obama because he'd be all like "Change" and I'd be all like "mmmbbbhgg" because his dick's in my mouth and he'd be like "Yes we can CUM!" and then I'd pass out.
I don't know if Michelle would be down, but whatever.
