Going down on construction

I think what i'm doing here has to do with a couple of things. I like the idea that short and uninformative posts are rewiring our brains. I don't understand the idea that you can start posting images or video or whatever, and as long as these media come from "artists" (i.e., people who identify themselves as artists through interesting and progressive websites).

No, it's fine that these people are doing this, for example a lot of the shit the rhizome links with (but not really rhizome itself I've found, which is actually pretty good at describing what's going on), or loshadka, or... http://www.gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooogle.com/, which is affiliated with rhizome (just recently in fact, one of the associate editors just signed on board...), and nastynets (but I may be wrong about this last one, not sure what it is... in fact, it might even be someone's art project to throw assholes like myself off of their trail). More on this later. essentially, nothing's being described. And fine, does this make me look naive? Of course, butt that's the point.

Can we bring back discussion? It need not be honest! I can lie a lot if you like, but it'd be nice to write things out. And I rarely trust many of the conversations going on the message boards right now, it's too much.

To continue proving my point (and sadly without saying much else) I'll post another piece of art by a famous internet artist:




Drudge Report, Martin Sheen-Wilder; Black on Gray Pixels, 1997.

All The Youths Seemed Rather Excited and Optometristic, Damien "it" Hirst "so good"; plywood on enamel gauze, 2003; Museum of Contemporary Contrapuntual Studies: Oslo, Norwegikistan.

Creating Art out of Not even Air

Digital Preteen Internet Post, Armchaired Mike Sblinzter; 1998, Ash on Gravel; Museo Parconato: Madrid, Spain.

The of What we Do (or, how to sound interesting without being interesting)

"premium black granite"
Eurasian Natural Stone
Granite on polyester, 500,000,024 B.C.E
From the series "Premium Stones from Eurasia" (1984-2003)

We have been in the wild west version of the internet for too long. Who will protect the masses? Is it fair that some people are complete asshole nerds and learn computer coding while the rest of us don't even know how the english language works?

Maybe, maybe is the answer.

So what is there to be done, and how can we innovate in a web where so many people are better than us (me)? Well, because I don't know about hacking. O but I used to! Does anyone else remember those cool hacker-ish programs from the early days of AOL? Tiddly and I were talking about that the other day, with bombing peoples inboxes with spam or something and everything. In fact, I don't think much has changed in terms of how easy it is to "lag" someone/a server out of existence (not existence, but in internet time, a day of being down for a major server would be catastrophic).

Example: A million people trying to visit a site over a matter of seconds will slow the site down, especially if it's a site like the one for Georgia's president. With that many people, it's easy to understand how a server will get overloaded.

Simple simple understanding? Not much has happened since the innocent days of lagging someone off AOL, and frustrating them. The wait to get online (through phone lines!) was such a drag.

It's useful to understand.

But what happens when it doesn't get so simple. What happens when these hacker memes evolve? It's funny to think of a computer virus, being man made, evolving, but this is a great way to understand how human thought evolves and adapts.

Please disregard everything I've said. I just feel lame for writing it all, realizing it's awful, but I sat here typing for too long to let it go to waste.

So here, how do we go from 'blogging' (which is a term that makes me feel like a fucking 13 year old girl with a crush on a fat kid) to more like a... seriously considered thing? HAHAHA. We wait, wait until the time is right and start to get someone neat to find this. Who is that neat person? He (and it will definitely be a guy, because girls just don't like to play Risk) has not been born yet. I think he'll be a mix between Kemesh and Dionne Warwick.

The Smell made from Kemesh's house is from a paranormal soup clerk, to give away the ending that I made for it and will subsequently never be published for lack of a publisher and a story. But how will the story continue? Now that they've found the hair thing, with turnipenis syndrome. I just hope that amateurs (like us) give up soon, because without us, it would make me happy.

Disregard that last sentence.

Wow, I never thought becoming a woman would ever feel so damn liberating.

Sadly, I have not become a woman. Disregard the last two sentences.

And, because nothing would make sense without a picture [I put it at the beginning of the story]:

Because we like to screw and drink and pretend we're miniature girls licking ass

(imagestolenfrom4chan.org)






"
"They met my look and replied to it with a serenity not known since the sweet pulp slid south through Eve’s untarnished pubic hair."
- Tiddly
1/4" x 5"
varnish on oil on varnish, 2005
"
-Gregoe
2 1/4" x 5"
Keyboard on Typepad, 2009

Wow. Normally don't like to link things, but this is too good:

It has to do with a robot named Wall-E (its real name is Gordon)

LINK

This is interesting for a few reasons:

1_
@_
3_
3

The first reason (1_) is that the robot has living tissue for a brain

The @ reason (@_) is that (as I understand it) the researchers made a few living brains, and they are different: "It's quite funny - you get differences between the brains," says Warwick. "This one is a bit boisterous and active, while we know another is not going to do what we want it to."

So how is this going to affect corn prices? Not much. Corn and soybean prices have been falling for a while since their peak in [insert a couple of months ago or something] and we could attribute this to a boon year. A reputable news source (a few news sources) reported this fact, and I believe them!

So, score one for news, score me for nothing.

I just want to know how we are able to feed so many people of the world? Doesn't this seem odd, that everyone is eating all the time? I have a friend who - at any given minute - is eating or smoking weed or sleeping. And he doesn't smoke weed and sleep all day, if you know what I mean *wink* *wink* *wink* *inner thigh lick* *wink*

Corn prices are not going to be affected by a brain made out of living tissue, as opposed to a living brain, which is what most of us have anyways.

Soybean prices are dropping too, but whatever, it's important, but whatever. Just know that it's important, and there should be smart people looking over it *wink*.

That last wink was directed towards the government, for all it's worth. That last wink suggested that maybe we shouldn't trust speculators and such. But they make a lot of money, which drives interesting people to make interesting sports cars, if you like to think of it that way.

And I'm all about interesting sports cars, and interesting other things too, like exotic chocolates and shiny electronics, although all cool electronics need not be shiny.

And matt drudge is a major douche even though I visit his website as often as I pee each day. (which is 3-4 times a day on a good day, I think)

And please submit your nude photos to kweefmegazine@gmail.com for my viewing pleasure.

Thank you in advance for the hot nude action, ohhh ohhh ohhh i'm so hot for nude action.

Almost as hot as the action in Georgia! [segue] Cuz it's hot pocket time in the far eastern european area stuff. I don't know what to say. Russia is asserting itself, and Georgia fucked up. It sucks that pregnant chicks lost their husbands. How can you say that sort of thing in a much more poignant way? Death deathDEATH. People die each day, but is it acceptable when a nation is at war? Why don't I ask some of the THOUSANDS AND MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE ACTUALLY SEEN THIS SORT OF THING AND BEEN A PART OF IT?

Sorry (and I am really sorry. I try not to get emotional, ever; I'm in a good mood), i'm just a priveleged asshole who has never seen this sort of thing firsthand, therefore, I have found it really easy to move my fingers in a not-too-rapid-succession on the keyboards and just type type type for the three people who might (but wouldn't have read this far) read this.

Ersa

(continued from Kemesh's House)

A breath of sweet saccharine came in behind me. This was not your everyday plume, no, no, not this no not never. Mib do you smell that? I said, but it was too late, I was outside her ten-foot hearing range. Mib? Still nothing. My own ears, trusty, they were still hanging on there, they. You two still with me? I said, and sure enough I was sure I said it. The heweh sound of with was even audible, that. My stars.

So it was upon me and me alone to turn up those stairs and seek out this pallor. Step one, step one, step one, I said aloud (and sure of it) for in these mephitic times the numbers tend not to go up but in, not down but in. Finally I reached step one and the smell was stronger still. These are some days, these. Are you on to something Ersa? Mib said from the bottom of the stairs, Are you on a trail? Sniff sniff my nose replied. Can you hear me Ersa? Mib said again. She needed visible evidence, it was clear, so I raised my hand, hush.

I left her and headed toward a window down the hall upstairs. It wasn’t getting any stronger necessarily but the dust down the hall had been disrupted, I could see that, I could see that in the way it waited around in front of the window. Crick crick went the floorboards beneath the carpet. Can you hear me? Mib said once more, belching like the trusty foghorn out on Hare Wick point. She, Mib, bone and morrow. As things turned out the smell was indeed getting more something. The dust paid its respects as I blustered in and reached for the knob of a door as yet unseen. As…yet………….unseen….and opened it.

Center of the room stood a creature the likes of which I don’t feel at liberty to describe. My, I said, this is a big one. It was draped in stretch blue from head to heel and from the sides of its head sat these scraggly-looking dust mops. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it was overweight – not knowing what truly constitutes the species’ range of girth – but were he man I would not hesitate to say he were fat, no. And how. My eyes traced up his dimpled forelegs, over a strange turnip that must have been the source of his reproductions, over the vast pillow of a midsection, only arriving at last at his eyes. They met my look and replied to it with a serenity not known since the sweet pulp slid south through Eve’s untarnished pubic hair. I did the only thing I could think to do and sat entranced. That were the last thing I remember with any amount of certainty.

Series Part 3 of a of 3 Part Series

The narrative of these videos:

-Finding happiness Part 1
-the Fear Part 2
-Realizing I'll never go back to the pre-war era Part 3

And what you don't realize is that I just made this up just now.

The Fourth Part of this three part series is a user competition to submit to me your best nude photos. My e-mail is kweefmegazine@gmail.com. keep it classy

Part 2 of the Series entitled "Pride and Prejiduce Don Quixote A Christmas... Joyce ...Carol... Oates Sucks at Writing (2005)"

The current series has been going great, and I couldn't have done it without the support of our fan. Thanks y'all! The letters of support have been flowing (and I mean flowing, wheeew!) in. And they're not stopping. Geese louise! Naw, Naw Naw, This is party time, like Geese LouisXIV, so come come come on sheila, it's a time a dosin da wreedling!
Oy ya Puckah! Bliggle Me barggle for a jinky freaks?

This next Part (part 2 of series 1) is based on the Inherently Divine comedy of the microcosm of race relations in South-Central Asia.
Theretofore, this comes with the apt title of:

"[IFTBNRMFRNBIWSHMPSBJOWRIADAAIDIMLCBWAIDSBDBIDHAIDS;IIHBTBMOOGS
tgfsbwhwwhpatwtfwwlaobaawwcoswtoofauaosmiol? (oil on canvas, 2009)"



Even though the coincidences are Huge, the preceding letters in bold do (not (but do, really)) really stand for:

"[Insert Future Title], by Nora Roberts, my favorite romantic novelist, but I wish she had more pictures sometimes because jacking off while reading is a dying art, and I'm no artist, much like children born with AIDS, but differently, becuase I don't have AIDS; instead, I have begun to blame my obesity on genetics, so THANK GOD FOR SCIENCE BECAUSE WITHOUT HIM WE WOULDN'T HAVE PENISES AND THEN WHAT THE FUCK WOULD WE LAUGH AT OR BE ASHAMED ABOUT WHEN WE COMPARE OUR SIZE WITH THAT OF OUR FATHERS AND UNCLES AND OTHER SEXY MEN IN OUR LIVES?"

The New New Website you've all Been Wanting And YEARNING AND SCREAMING OHHHH MY GOD I WANT IT SO HARD, I DON"T CARE THAT YOU"RE BLEEDING ON ME

We are in the process of changing a website (this website) from Current Format (the current format you see RIGHT NOW!) to Future Format (which will be a Military Gossip Blog, so we'll talk about which cologne colonels wear, and who's sticking it to who, and because it's DON"T ASK DON"T TELL, then we'll just make most of it up (but not really! it's all going to be real!)

And Close Parentheses again.

*This Series is Called:
"Pride and Prejiduce Don Quixote A Christmas... Joyce ...Carol... Oates Sucks at Writing (2005)"




*This is part 1 of a series I like to call:
"EGPFTVOTM-T-U-CIIDBDTRAWHFMAACMFLAAHITHCBASCBDMTFCAWTDDTGCSWFAIWTPAWITMOSWINMBAFIKWHTPTIDHBIJSPAT;P1 (2008) Watercolor on Rye; Scrap Metal; Absorbant Glass"

Which Stands For:

"Exploring global poverty from the views of the middle-to-upper-class Irish immigrant descendants born during the Reagan Administration whom have found marijuana as a coping mechanism for laziness and a high inner thigh hair count but are still cool because drinking makes them feel cool and when they don't drink they get cranky so without further adieu I wish to present a window into the mind of someone who is not myself but a friend I know who has these problems that I don't have because I'm just so psyched about things; PART 1 (2008)"

Part 2 will be more of the same, and then Part 3 will be not too different, but different enough so that you can't really tell the three apart.

* - The Series is titled "Pride and Prejiduce Don Quixote A Christmas... Joyce ...Carol... Oates Sucks at Writing (2005)", But Part 1 of the Series is titled the longer title in bold.