Couilles Platine

Balls of fucking russian steel. I would like to propose a nomination of the acerbic kind, like biting at your throat with a russian dog with russian black boots. The award for the man who has said fuck to a lot of things that most of us wouldn't - the kinds of things that only happen in a Woody Allen or Herzog movie. Something so funny and metal balled.

Russia Adopts Blustery Tone Set By Envoy

Let's break this sentence DOOOOOOOAAAOOWWWWWWNN.

1) Russia - You know they're going to start big, starting the sentence with Russia just puts up that Iron Curtain on your spine, so your whole body just gets heavier and you sink into that broken old lady hunch that just feels so Russian.

2) Adopts - Adopts... this is the least harmful of the words. It could mean that they didn't start off with this tone, or maybe there was no tone to begin with, but it's an interesting and very business-like word to describe the change in Russia's voice over the recent Conflict.

3) Blustery - This means that the envoy interviewed (oh FUCK YEAH) was drunk as SHIT, and not even on vodka. He was probably drinking straight isopropyl or cough syrup laced with apricot schnopps.

4) Tone - There couldn't have been many other words used, but Tone gets a good point across that the recent attitude of the russians is going to stay for a bit. I find Tone to be this abstract thing that could just go whrhrrhrhrhhrhrhrh forever.

5) Set - this is the cement of both the Tone and the Envoy. It's trying to lay blame on this one man, but the Tone, it seems, has been set, literally, to be a long standing attitude by the Russians.

6) By - this is simply a preposition

7) Envoy - This alludes to a couple of things. First, most envoys (especially from Russia) are quite respected diplomats. It is a huge whatever to be an envoy, with an ambassadorial aura, and for someone in such an official position as This Guy:

(Thanks getty images!)

So the new cold war? I don't think that either country (US or Russia) want to lose the money. What stopped this most recent war was the crashing Russian stock market, and the hemorrhaging of foreign capital out of the state. This is more of What Happens after any country is humiliated but later becomes rich off of something. And Russia is rich as shit. I know that nobody reads this, but Russia is rich as shit!

They're so fucking crazy rich, and people in russia have just gotten so rich overnight that we now have to deal with a bunch of crazy russians who have worse taste than the Jackelopes of Jersey Fucking City.

So, not only do we have to deal with a bunch of Jagons from Russia beating their meat with and Iron Fist, but we also have to deal with the kitschiest billionaires EVERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

WRRRAHOAOAOAOHAOHROHAHOROHAROHAOHRHOOHARHOROHHOROHROHROHROHOHROHAOHWWWWWW