John Bolton's first foray into politics was for the failed campaign of Barry "call me betty and slap my tits" Goldwater of nineteen thirty three. A few years later the stock market had "failed" and we were in a "depression". But here's the rest of the story:
While trekking (as in star trek) through the wilderness of arizona (maybe his home state?) Big Barry came across three large naked men approaching. The men were coughing up red foam, but did not look pained or in discomfort. Goldwater began scribbling down notes which were to later evolve into his epic "The Conscience of a Conservative". By 'notes' I mean, he wrote down the title "conscience of a conservative".
"Ahoooooo," said one of the naked men as they walked up to goldwater's carriage.
"hello good fellow, may i offer you some of my libido?" responded Goldwater.
"That is kind, but not kind enough. We want more - we always do - but we are willing to let chance decide whether we put you into a vegetative state so that your family and friends will have to battle over whether to pull the plug or let you live, constantly dribbling like we do," answered the man.
"but you dribble red foam from your mouths, and you walk and breathe like ordinary people." said Goldwater.
"Yes, but we are even more ordinary, and for this we have been cursed by the great Native American Gods: Utu and Lenorammamamamamamamama. They ride on the shoulders of white men and negroes alike, making love to whomever, whenever," said the man.
"I have no idea what's going on," said Goldwater
There was a pause in the talking as Goldwater looked at the three men standing in front of him, became slightly aroused, then slightly less aroused as he thought that he did not size up to any of them - not in the penis, but in the sassiness and areola size.
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Whenever typing John Bolton I want to type John Roberts instead, maybe baby?
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John Bolton is the greatest statesman to ever have liver.
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1 comment:
ummmmm, the spell was broken at the end
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